Sometimes the hardest thing in this world is learning to love yourself. Sounds crazy as I type it, as I re-read it… but then again… I’m sure that some of you are nodding your heads as you read this. I mean, have you ever had one or more of these thoughts:
- I’m just not good enough
- I have to be “this” way or “that” way in order to be liked or loved
- I’ll never figure it out
- I’m just not pretty enough
- I can only love myself when I feel I am loveable to others..?
Or what about behaviours?
- Do you try to change yourself for someone else?
- Do you fake a love for a music genre? a sport? a hobby? in order to have someone THINK that they love you?
- Do you feel you need to change yourself to be loved?
These are just a few questions I pulled off the top of my head as I drink a cup of tea this morning… ahhhhh tea. That is a journey I am on right now. I grew up drinking tea and then with partners would change to coffee or tea depending on what they drank. Now, I switch it up every morning. Today is a tea day. I am trying to decide for myself what I like. I don’t want to change to please someone. I don’t want to feel I need to change for someone. That need is a pattern. Patterns I bring to my practice.
When we practice yoga we allow ourselves to simply be who we are. All of these patterns come up and we can examine them in our lives. How do they affect our bodies, our psyches..? And are we being honest about who we are? What we want for our lives? What we enjoy?
I’m sure some of you are thinking, “What? THAT’S yoga?” Ha ha. Yes. THAT is yoga. Sure we get do all of this with movement and shapes — these movements and shapes we call “asana” — but the crux of the practice is the journey to the self. Figuring out our patterns and trying to learn from them so that we can ultimately lead better lives.
What are you bringing to your mat today?
Who are you… really?
